Good God! A TV Show…

I’ve never been a huge fan of the original series. Maybe it was due to the fact that it was too late for me to get hooked when it was on TV in Ukraine, maybe the weather was not right all the time, I don’t even remember. But I watched it anyway.

Nevertheless, I was smitten with Brandon in the beginning. Despite his hair and the awful self-righteousness he was like a young god to me. Others were less fun: 40-smth looking Dylan, painfully stupid Steve and cute-but-nothing-more David Silver (Brian Austin Green is surprisingly watchable in ‘Sarah Connor Chronicles’ but that’s another story).

As for the girls, well, the fact that I still remember the names means something, right? I wished to hit that cow Donna with something heavy all the time and I loved Valerie when she was particularly b*tchy. Oh, and of course, there was Andrea. I felt for Ms. Zuckerman all right and sometimes I think that the mere fact of bespectacled solidarity was not enough to account for it. What they did to her (the storyline with child and dysfunctional husband) was much more real than any of the problems that Kelly/Brenda had encountered.

So what about the spin-off? I’m not that far from Youtube generation in age, I’m closer to them than to actors from the original series. But it just doesn’t work. Everything is shinier, everybody is skinnier but nobody is likable, for God’s sake. NOBODY. The acting varies from mildly to highly annoying. The same goes with characters themselves. Each time I see that whiny Ethan I want to hit him with stick so the impression of turmoil he has as his major acting face is justified somehow. Yes, Naomi is pretty as a picture but what the hell is she wearing all the time? Chanel bag with Chanel beads and Chanel jacket? Are they vintage from her grandma box or what? I understand that with Hermiona Grandger Emma Watson as the face of Chanel these days the brand is considered appropriate for youth but not every accessory, right?

The junk-y one, Adrianna, is beautiful (when her hair is clean and combed) and seems to have some talent (the actress too). Well, her storyline has a meaning, at least. But she wanders around with like tons of drugs and her eyes look runny and red all the time, and nobody cares or does anything. Ah, allergy my *ss.

The Silver girl is the most cute, I must admit, but her blogging… WTF?! Stick figures with photoshopped heads that talk and sing?! Why is any movie/TV representation of today’s web technology so painful to look at?

Ok, I digress with all those question and exclamation marks.

I won’t even start on Wilsons, they are just annoying. I’ll ignore the girl. And crazy grandma. And the adopted son too. Ah, he feels like he doesn’t belong. Go see the shrink, you whiny … kid!

Kelly and Brenda are loitering around like they’re waiting for the standing ovation just for being there.

All in all, it is the tragic misuse of the great name, not the revival of the corpse (because the original series are not dead in the memory of so many fans), it feels like a cheap Shanel bag and Abibas sport gear. I have survived 6 episodes but I will do no more. CW, please drop it and concentrate on your gem, the guilty pleasure of Gossip Girl. Geez, even the 3rd season of Veronica Mars was much more engaging.