There are three recent TV shows that appeared on my radar as I’ve read the book series they were adapted from.

The Dresden Files

This Sci-Fi installment is the oldest of the stack and has survived one season only. The book series by Jim Butcher have 11 novels to the wiki knowledge and I’ve read eight of them so far.

The premise

Set in the world of magic realism, the story follows the adventures of Harry Dresden, the only wizard listed in Yellow Pages of Chicago, and a real one for that matter. Despite his attempts on quiet and unambitious way of living, Mr. Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden often finds himself dealing with rogue vampire lords, human mob bosses and each and every kind of demon/spook/death curse possible.

Book pros

The series is heavily stylized to resemble noir detective stories, only in magical setting: the lone hero in a long duster coat against a whole army of baddies, saving the world and the occasional damsel in distress. Humor and cheeky approach truly set the series apart (one of my favorite scenes is the animated museum T-Rex crushing the army of undead in downtown Chicago).

Book cons

Highly repetitive, as the genre requires.

TV adaptation pros

Harry Dresden, wizard

Casting Paul Blackthorne as Harry Dresden worked great for me — Paul’s got the looks and the attitude just right.

What went wrong

What usually does: oversimplification of the plot. Each book in the series has Harry working on a big case while also dealing with his complicated personal life, and certain distinctive threads link the books to each other.

While the decision to make each episode of the show a complete case is fully justified, I felt that the links and the attributes of what made Dresden Files fun were overlooked and lost in the process. And the cases presented on the show were not enough to hold interest on their own.

The Legend of the Seeker

This show is based on the Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind. I have a post dedicated to the books, so long story short: a fantasy realm, a Chosen one armed with the Sword of Truth must save the world from the Dark Lord.

Book pros

SoT is one of the quirky-kinkiest fantasy stories out there.

Book cons

Should have been finished long ago — the latest books lost their charm for me and feel empty. The intricate card house of magic laws started falling apart too to provide the author with new plots.

TV adaptation pros

Hmm, lemme think… Joseph LoDuca score? Picturesque New Zealand landscapes? Female lead goodies on constant display? That might be it.

What went wrong

Basically everything. I don’t understand, why would somebody take a fully developed magical world, ditch all the stuff that makes it amusing and unique, add the most overused ingredients (the Massacre of the Innocents, anyone?), keep only the names of characters and places and call that an adaptation. The complicated and twisted story has been turned into ‘found bad stuff, must save people and eliminate evil, rinse, repeat’ episode type. The whole grand plot has been ruined and replaced with very basic and lousy subplots which lack intrigue, consistency and character development.

Say hello to Mistress

Considering all said, imagine my shock when I saw the episode ‘Denna’ when they suddenly switched to the torture-porn channel. I thought that maybe some SoT fans caught the writers, chained them in the basement and presented them the Mord’Sith way while sending directions for the episode via email. But that certainly did not last long, and somehow glimpses of the real book made it even worse. I wish somebody would put this show out of its misery.

True Blood

This one is a heavy-lifter from HBO. HBO is The Sopranos and Rome, and True Blood creator is the person behind Six Feet Under, so expectations were higher than usual. The books in question are the Southern Vampire chronicles by Charlaine Harris.

The premise

TruBlood ad

Here we’ve got another case of magic realism but contrary to #1 (where people are reluctant to acknowledge the existence of supernatural and turn a blind eye to its manifestations) in Harris’ world vampires made their presence public, they are fully legit; and it all was possible due to synthetic blood that can sustain the suckers.

The protagonist, Sookie Stackhouse is a waitress in a small (fictional) town of Bon Temps, Louisiana. She’s cute and otherwise ordinary girl if not for one thing: she’s a mind-reader. Now, everybody knows that being a mind-reading waitress in a small town is a recipe for trouble, and the troubles start towering when Sookie falls for the local vampire, one Mr. Bill Compton, with comfortably quiet mind and manners of a gentleman circa the Civil War.

Book pros

Rather solid series in its niche. I’ve read only the first two, and while not being anything remarkable they provided certain level of entertainment.

Book cons

Two much similarity to the Anita Blake series by Laurell Hamilton for my taste.

TV adaptation pros

Two words: OPENING CREDITS. Both the visuals and the song work together perfectly to create the required atmosphere of sizzling heat, misty swamps and woods hiding unimaginable monsters, and voodoo rituals followed by gospels, sending shivers down your spine. A true masterpiece in itself.

As far as I remember, the first season of the show (it has been renewed for a second 12-episode season) followed the course of the first book rather closely, extending and cutting here and there but staying on the same course.

Sookie and Bill

I’ve read several reviews that tore True Blood to pieces, being especially rancid about Anna Paquin’s performance as Sookie. That felt rather strange as I thought that both Sookie and Bill on the show were very similar to their book prototypes. I don’t remember Sookie’s brother being that big an idiot or the local vamp boss Eric being that glamorous and not at all menacing but other than that the adaptation seems flawless.

What went wrong

1. Fangs. Nobody does them right, I admit.
2. Accent. I’m not American, I can’t tell real Southern accent from the fake one, but the accents on the show felt forced and unnatural.

Why do I care?

Recently there was another fantasy show, BBC’s Merlin, and while, thankfully, it wasn’t a book adaptation in the strict sense, you can get from the title that it’s another take on the story of the king Arthur and Camelot. That one was BEYOND good and evil. Way beyond.

But: HBO is considering another adaptation, this time the biggie — A Song of Ice and Fire I’m so obsessed with. There’s one and only chance it might turn out good: if HBO people would forget the word fantasy and give it Rome- or Tudor-esque treatment it deserves.

Dollhouse

Since the brilliant and unexpected Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog each and every Whedon fan was looking forward to this one.

Starring unappreciated beauty Eliza Dushku and the whole 6’ 2½” of Tahmoh Penikett (Helo from Battlestar Galactica), the show revolves around the organization providing exquisite service — people ideal for the client’s job. Any job.

Tasks vary from a party girl spending the perfect weekend with young rich bachelor to hostage situation in Mexico but what makes the service really unique is that the corresponding personas are loaded into the dolls (people with erased memories who live in the Center).

Dushku is Echo, one of the dolls, and Penikett is Paul Ballard, an FBI agent obsessed with discovering and demystifying the Dollhouse.

Tahmoh Penikett

The pilot was rather intense in the action department yet otherwise unimpressive. It definitely lacked something important. The following course of events seems to be quite predictable: Echo will be doing some crazy stuff while reminiscing things that happened to her in the past; her nasty she-boss with an accent will be ‘acting in the best interests of dolls’ as they put it; Ballard will be pursuing the Flying Dutchman of Dollhouse, and Ballard’s bosses will be pressing him to let go and drop the investigation; etc, etc.

Eliza Dushku

Now, such a premise can be saved by some awesome characters. I felt that Penikett as Fed was doing his best compared to the others. Dushku as Echo was very convincing as a party girl but when she appeared in that ‘sexy librarian’ outfit, with glasses and pearl studs — well, it just didn’t click. I was as skeptical for her negotiation abilities as the guy she was working for, and it didn’t fade away.

All in all, I still have hopes for this show. We know that a miracle is required for this one to make it to full season, damn you, Fox. You brought back woman whose head was chopped off and put in a box in Prison Break, and yet we have to cross our fingers for Whedon’s child to drive further than its predecessors.

Lie to Me

Tim Roth

This one had an ace up its sleeve — one Mr. Tim Roth. The premise was supposedly fun too: watching the character of aforementioned Mr. Roth casting light on the lies of others by studying their facial expressions.

Well, guess what: it didn’t work. Tim Roth alone just isn’t enough.

There are so many shows out there these days that center on the genius / unconventional / rather arguable approaches of some highly irritating / mildly eccentric / somewhat charming quirks and weirdos (House MD, Psych, Monk, The Mentalist to name but a few). The show so far hasn’t shown any depth. Yes, the bits about studying expressions are quite entertaining, like watching Discovery channel. The images of Jessica Simpson/former president/other infamous people caught with wildly exaggerated expressions being compared to some indigenous people are just cheesy.

The science team is as bland as the white office walls, basically walking and talking props. The challenges they have to face — not so challenging after all. The underlying conflict of the main character (there always is one) is hinted at so slightly it almost goes under the radar.

This show doesn’t deserve Tim Roth. Period.

The Beast

Patrick Swayze

As much as I was biased, this one happened to be fun to watch. The story of experienced Federal agent Charles Barker (Patrick Swayze) who has his not always legit ways to serve justice and his rookie partner Ellis Dove (Travis Fimmel) working undercover is a collection of cliches but a nicely executed one.

Patrick looks rough and tough: smiles a crooked smile of a long-time cynic, laughs a throaty laugh of a frequent smoker and kicks ass. With a rocket launcher.

Travis (imdb tells me, a former Calvin Klein model) looks like an illegitimate child of Brad Pitt (circa Ocean’s [two-digits number]) and younger Ray Liotta. Also he looks constantly high, all sweaty and with runny eyes. Not so bad for a model.

The Beast cast

Of course, some FBI bosses just cannot stand it when the work is getting done, so there’s an Internal Affairs investigation, digging dirt on Patrick’s character, and of course, the rookie partner is being torn apart by the hard choice of who his loyalty should belong to.

As you can see, the writers just opened the TV Show Writer’s Companion on the Police/FBI/Homeland Security chapter and went along in alphabetical order. But: 5 eps later I still find it entertaining, the action is there, and they have managed to cover Russian, Romanian and North Korean mobs already.

And Patrick did his best Romanian accent. See: it is fun.

United States of Tara

Toni Collette

A Steven f*king Spielberg dark comedy about a woman coping with dissociative identity disorder, her other personalities emerging from the depths of her mind when she feels unable to handle the situation. The recently beloved Oscar-winning former stripper, creator of Juno, Cody Diablo is writing the script.

Fantastic Toni Collette plays all the identities of her character, Tara, including sexually obsessed redneck type guy, a slutty teenage girl, a Stepford wife and who knows how many others.

Tara has been on medication for a long time, but the side effects were too much, so she and her husband (John Corbett) decided it was time to go off the meds. The whole bunch of identities has reappeared and the family is not excited at all.

Long story short: despite the idea, Toni’s performance and big name in the credits, this show is definitely ‘painful to watch’ (c) Pajiba review. The family is not just dysfunctional, it’s screwed up BIG TIME. Otherwise bland husband wants to have sex with all the personalities except for his wife and Buck. The son is sex-obsessed and supposedly gay and still wets his bed at the age of 14 (spoiler: I’m not so sure about that after the ep #6). The daughter is so desperate she’s likely to have sex with any guy around (including her sleazy geeky boss at the local fast food place). Tara’s sister is more crazy than Tara herself (who was at least diagnosed and treated). It sucks to be them and it doesn’t make me feel better about my life. Call me a quitter, but the peeing episode has decided it for me.

Button fiddling

Long, long time ago, when the grass was greener and the sky a deeper shade of blue, I was naive enough to believe that there was no better epic fantasy than Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan.

Somewhere in the gap between n^th and (n+1)^th book I grew bored and decided to look for new options. Immediately A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin caught my attention.

Several reviews praised it to the stars yet also mentioned that no other author was so prone to crippling and murdering his characters like Martin. I knew how attached I might become to the characters so the doubts lingered. Then at some point I decided to give it a shot.

Prelude

ASoIaF is not just a book. Every book is a story but this one is a Story. As much as I respect Martin for that one, the discover of his earlier books (Sci-Fi of luscious-ladies-in-tight-outfits-with-laser-guns type) would never make me look in the direction of his work again. So I believe that this is a case of those sparkles of inspiration that simply have to find its way into somebody’s mind.

Dragons and magic (thank God, no elves!) might attract you to this story if you’re into that stuff, but they have been playing a somewhat desaturated role so far. When I read it first, I found it very refreshing that the amount of magic was cut down to premonitions, dreams and old stories.

The story is set in kingdom of Westeros, what immediately manifests as Europe of Dark Ages: knights in shiny heavy bloodstained armour, stench of war, deadly intrigues and poisonings, bastards, trueborns, lordlings and matters of inheritance.

Key figures, families of Starks and Lannisters are the easiest allusion of all, the War of Roses. The plot follows the fall of Stark family to the hands of Lannisters and their underlings, the civil war tearing the realm apart and the wild tribes stirring at the border. Among other things the surviving child of the previous dynasty is sold to the great clan leader in the Far East.

Other hints are not so eager to be spotted. I have a reason to believe, for example, that the world of Westeros will never see its Genghis Khan

Intercourse

One of the most appealing and wonderfully done feats of the book that truly sets it apart is the way of narrative: each chapter is told from the point of view of another character, sometimes, the “good” guy, sometimes, the “bad”, never judging and never failing to underline that the world is not black and white but the shades of gray.

Besides making it more subjective and objective at the same time, this way of storytelling truly connects you to the characters.

I’m an escapist, what I demand from a book is to take me away, to make come to life in my head, and this is the greatest magic Martin could have possibly invoked. The characters live and breath with you, and you laugh/suffer/love/hate/die with them.

Each chapter is told in the unique voice, even the choice of words used is often specific to the character.

The atmosphere is terrific. Descriptions of balls and battles, knights’ armour and kitchen utensils, sophisticated outfits and meals are very graphic and sound very authentic to what I have read about that era. You can almost smell the scented oils or rotting flesh.

Getting back to magic, it seems to be on the same level that was believed in those times: witches, martyrs, stories of dragons and creatures of the night. The news never travel fast, gossips arising from the news are wildly out of proportion which makes it strike even closer to home.

There are layers and layers and layers of subplots, e.g. the religious confrontation: old pagan gods, the Christian-like seven-faced god and more harsh and strict concept of Red God of Light.

Underneath it all it is an apocalyptic story of the world on the verge of catastrophe: the long winter is coming, the comet paints the skies crimson and long forgotten evil is awakening from its several thousand years slumber. And people are still playing their little games, fighting their petty wars, and that is another ’so true’ point.

Climax

I could talk about this book for ages. I have read the whole series twice already and I’m sure it’s not going to stop there. Four books have been published to the date. I was lucky to have started reading when there were three already or I could have gone mad.

A cigarette after

Funny thing: first time I was reading the books in Russian, and each book was divided in two parts and published that way. I managed to mistake the second book for first, thought it was author’s plot to immerse the reader in the thicket of the action explaining things in characters’ recollections. Imagine my surprise when the last book I had and started to read in high hopes of finding out what happened next (lots of cliffhangers) occurred to be the first!

I enjoyed the first book nevertheless, learning how it all began, and took a sort of pride in the fact that I rebuilt most of the events in my head. The fourth book came a year later and I devoured it in three days. It wasn’t what I expected but that’s the way of Martin.

Here are some final thoughts that might let you decide whether you wish to mess with ASoIaF:

1. It’s VERY LONG. War and Peace? Multiply by 2 and that sounds about right. For the books already written.
2. Yes, it’s far from being finished. The fifth book is on the way (and been there since 2005), and Martin said, he felt like seven books were enough to tell the whole story. If judged by the rate so far, it might as well take another 10 years.
3. It’s complicated: a whole another kind a pleasure was to pick up things only slightly hinted at and never stated for sure.
4. There are lots of characters, some major, hundreds of other people; historical figures are mentioned constantly. If your memory is good and enjoy puzzles of the kind, then it’s a good read.
5. This book will do things to your head. I keep catching myself speaking to the characters in my mind, even yelling at them and wishing to appear in the scene and kick some ass.

P.S.

George R.R. Martin

Martin is a cruel author. Not only are the books gritty, the characters do really die (quite messy, I must say, especially the good guys) and his cliffhangers are just VIOLENT.

Here, look at the smirking face of this ruthless bastard and hate him as much as I do.

I LOVE you, Mr. Martin. Do publish The Dance with Dragons this year, PUH-LEEEAASE!

I haven’t read the Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series nor do I have any inclination to, but still I was interested in all the ‘new Harry Potter’ hype so I’ve read several reviews instead. They mostly agreed on how excruciatingly bad the books were yet some shamefully admitted the weird appeal.

Well, I said to myself, let’s watch the movie. Forbidden love, cute teenagers – what’s not to like? The premise for the story is quite simple – the divorcee’s daughter Bella Swan (ouch!) comes to live with her dad, a chief of police in a small town of Forks. Surprisingly she becomes rather popular in new school and several nice guys are always around her but Bella falls for the pale-faced and distant Edward Cullen. The guy seems to be avoiding our heroine yet he is omnipresent wherever she goes. Cold hands, supernatural speed and strength, allergy to the sun – WOW, he is a VAMPIRE.

So, what it was like?

Boring and predictable. Well, predictability can be easily forgiven – in a love story we actually know how it is going to end every time. And it’s a teen romance story so none of the main characters could have died a horrible death anyway. Boredom is a heavier issue. In winter, when it’s cold and gloomy I like me some stupid romantic story if it has sweet moments at which that warm and fuzzy feeling tightens my chest promising that everything is going to be just fine. The movie lacked those moments BIG TIME. Not a drop of soul in this medicine, my winter condition prevailed.

Was the casting wrong?

Edward Cullen

Bella Swan

I think, not. Having not read the book, I cannot judge the likeness to the actual book characters, but Robert Pattinson as Edward is somewhat otherworldly and sinisterly beautiful at times, the outline of chiseled jaw, the evil curve of luscious lips; he has a face of a high school bully that would make you a friend only to mock you later with more cruelty or a Roman emperor that would sleep with his sister (Ed Westwick of Gossip Girl, I’m looking at you too!). They went too far with makeup though. Kristen Stewart’s Bella is pretty yet she conveys a perfect sense of awkwardness, of being alone in the crowd.

Why are the characters even attracted to each other?

Well, Bella, it seems, makes a point of being unhappy. Her mother is married for the second time, and from what we know, successfully. What does Bella do? Leaves for the Forks despite loathing the gloom and the cold and the constant rain. There are at least two guys in the town that show affection towards her. And Bella is interested in the one that cannot even sit with her during classes.

The reason why Edward, a hundred years old vampire, wants this otherwise quite ordinary girl, except for her sweet, sweet blood, is his talent to hear thoughts of others, or, to be precise, the failure of his talent with Bella. Edward’s ability to read faces seems to be long dead as he only relies on his mind-reading. So here she is, a black box of a girl. ‘I’ve been waiting for you for all my life’, he says. No matter how shallow Bella might happen to be, she is still a little wonder to Edward.

So, what was all the hysterics about?

Edward is stalker-ish and creepy if you’re mature and confident. But from the point of view of 13-to-17 girls (who appear to be the target audience) he might just be your perfect (if a little cold) Prince Charming: handsome, protective, always there, all he wants is to be with you, walk in the forest and hold hands. No matter that Edward is over hundred, he behaves how a teen girl, romantic and a tad infantile, would make her dream boyfriend act.

Despite the vampire theme being so over- and ill used, it still holds some charm for me. I watched True Blood this season, and I even liked it. In both Charlaine Harris’ Southern Vampire and Laurell Hamilton’s Anita Blake series there was an interesting subplot of vampires’ coming out and its consequences in modern society. It’s another story, my point here is that different authors create different vampire mythologies, while they all give their monsters speed and strength, and superficial abilities, yet they all agree on one thing: vampirism has certain disadvantages, like fear of the holy objects, being dead to the world during the day and hiding from the sun, but Stephenie’s vamps are not afraid of anything except for being discovered. There are no cons in being an undead, no downside, no vulnerabilities: people literally can do nothing against such creatures. That, and not the crazy stupid sparkling in the sun (behold: a bejeweled vampire! how glamorous!), was one of the things that made me itch.

There simply is no point in Bella’s being afraid: since the moment she met Edward, she exists solely and purely at his mercy, no matter what she thinks or does. She lives only because Edward and his family chose to be ‘vegetarians’ so they drink only animal blood (hello, PETA!).

Maybe, it was all a dream?

At some point (I believe, the sparkly one) the vampire plot husk fell aside, and the whole story turned upside down for me. Hey, I thought to myself, it’s a story of an insecure and unhappy girl, who is more plain in her head than on the outside so she dreams herself a vampire love.

See for yourself: Bella is so miserable with her newly happily married mom that she moves in with her dad who she doesn’t know what to talk about with; her new town is bleak and grey, which she hates but still it suits her more. The town is so wretched that Bella’s arrival is the next big thing: she becomes popular just because of being new.

The out-of-reach local stud Edward makes a scene of not wanting to sit with Bella so she makes up a whole story for his reasoning: he is a vampire, he craves her blood but he is not a monster by choice so he is avoiding her. She has two outstanding features (that usual people cannot be aware of): her blood scent is so sweet it makes vamps go nuts and her thoughts are hidden from Edward’s mind-reading.

With that even sparkling seems more normal – it’s only a daydream after all.

What’s next?

I’ve heard the sequel is in the works. I don’t know what happens in other books (three more, I believe), though I am sure there will be lots of other supernatural creatures which would want Bella inexplicably and at some point she would either turn into vampire or gain other superficial powers to keep up with Edward (they usually do).

P.S. I had to get some healthy dose of Richard B. Riddick, escaped convict, murderer as a cure for my winter depression.

People, I’m so shocked right now I’m going to ask you in that wonderful Russian accent of mine:

Vot ze f*ck voz Serena vearing?

I noticed the trend, you know: they are dressing S. in more and more slutty outfits, I believe it is supposed to show her tits development as a person. Slightly slutty sexy S., I got it. But was it really intended to become ‘ouch, it fell into reaally hot water and shrank to fit a ten-year-old, lets throw in some cheap looking peasant blouse and heavy beads necklace‘ sexy?!?

Why is every Russian girl appearing in the movie called Natasha? (c) net wisdom

First of all, I didn’t hate it. The movie was strange though, it couldn’t hold my attention with neither plot nor action. But it felt like a parade of familiar faces (mostly from TV shows):

• annoying speed girl with egregiously bad hair from Heroes as a random junkie;
• Sucre from Prison Break (Amaury Nolasco) as a tattooed monster on steroids;
• Olga Kurylenko (latest Bond, also adaptation of Hitman, where she played a junkie skank) as Russian girl Natasha, guess what, a junkie skank. Now, that’s consistency. And she manages to be BAD even at that. Moreover, she is not that beautiful in dynamics. Her 1.5 facial expressions kill all the fun there is.
• Greasy police captain from Life (Donal Logue) as beard-y mullet-y homeless looking ex-partner of Max.
• Chris O’Donnell. Am I walking near the graveyard or what?
• Crazy Mama Grey (Kate Burton) from Grey’s Anatomy as a big boss from the Company.
• Nelly Furtado as a grieving widow. WTF, people?

Movie Pros:

• Cool narrative in the beginning. Too bad they dropped that later.
• Good visuals from time to time. I liked the eternal snow floating in the air, somewhat feather-ly look.
• Shadow wings as hallucinations (not the grotesque CG’s attached to them; would look much more stylish without them).
• Tattoo salon owner – awesome guy, fantastic voice.

Less pros, more fun:

• When Mona Sax (very Russian name, huh) asked some local thug who the alleged bad guy was, and he said to look for Lupino (woof, woof), the ultimate wack job, they actually showed Lupino smiling his ‘evil’ smile, brandishing a huge knife and sweating. How thoughtful of them.
• Max triggered the fire alarm in the Aesir building, so it started raining inside as well as outside. Very noir-ish.
• The ‘УЕТЫРЕ ПАЛЬТА. СОБОЛЬ’ writing on the wall (literally: ‘EOUR COATZ. SABLE’). Love how they compile some meaningless Cyrillic letters to represent the Russian interior.
• The bad guy sniper hit the drug stock three times never touching Max who was in the middle of some advanced Yoga Asana bending down veeeery slooooowly.
• I kept hearing ‘baby’ when Beau Bridges was addressed (B.B., get it?). Cracked me up each time.

I won’t get into impossible stuff like surviving the freezing water in heavy clothes, that shit doesn’t bother me, it’s a movie. I won’t even concentrate on the fact that they called those gargoyles ‘valkyr’. But Mila Kunis is no A. Jolie who can look badass effortlessly just standing there doing nothing. I loved Mila in American Psycho II: All American Girl, it was bad as well as amusing, a guilty pleasure. But in MP she could muster a badass impression for few seconds, no more, looking helpless all the time.

A consolation prize for those who watched it till the end:

• Natasha gets killed very early;
• Chris O’Donnell’s character gets killed in the middle.

Not a gamer myself, I understand (thanx, wiki) that the original game had a decent storyline, intriguing dark atmosphere and a lunatic protagonist with a wicked half smile and two guns. I have a soft spot for Marky Mark but his yelling didn’t count as lunatic.

I don’t get it and I guess I never will: why they need to take some good stuff and gloss it over with shit do some Hollywood magic to turn it into blockbuster?!

P.S. It sucks to be the action hero these days: your father’s best friend hates you and is going to murder you, your wife, children and even a pet. Bad karma. Lots of bad karma.

And yet I loved the final sequence when the patient overcame his fears and walked out of the building and House couldn’t.

Blame it on my inner nerdiness or fortunate position of the constellations but I find TBBT hysterically funny. The casting is brilliant, the chemistry on screen — unmistakable, the scripts — pure joy. It’s one of those rare character-driven gems that lighten up your day after some TV show goes sour. I haven’t laughed that hard since IT Crowd (and with two seasons and 12 episodes total that was simply not enough).

The premise of the show is rather simplistic: The Nerd and The Nerdier roommates Leonard (IQ 173) and Sheldon (IQ 187) meet their new neighbour, pretty material girl Penny. The brainiacs have two friends: a horny engineer Howard Wolowitz and Raj, a cute astrophysicist who turns mute in front of girls. Leonard is less smart more social, so he immediately falls for Penny.

Sheldon:

Okay, look, I think you have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble telescope does of discovering that at the center of every black hole is a little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker. Nevertheless, I do feel obligated to point out to you that she did not reject you. You did not ask her out.

Leonard:

Our kids will be smart and beautiful.

Sheldon:

Not to mention imaginary

Leonard:

I’m a male, and she’s a female.

Sheldon:

But not of the same species.

Writers managed to get the best of the plot exploring and gently and lovingly mocking stuff the geeky guys are supposed to enjoy: comics, Sci-fi TV shows, MMORPG, social networks, etc.

Leonard:

We need to widen our circle.

Sheldon:

I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends on myspace.

Leonard:

Yes, and you’ve never met one of them.

Sheldon:

That’s the beauty of it.

Sheldon (about Penny playing Halo):

I don’t know how, but she is cheating! Nobody can be that attractive and this good at a videogame.

What sets this show apart is the cast. Each character has a distinct style in clothes, specific gestures, mannerisms, even a definite way of walking.

All the four types are easily recognizable. If you’re in IT or science or accounting you met at least one of them for sure.

Dr. Sheldon Cooper

Each and everyone on the show is just perfect but Sheldon is the ultimate star. The actor plays the part effortlessly, balancing on the very edge of driving you nuts and still being adorable. Gosh, I want to adopt him to shield him from this cruel world where things happen not according to schedule, people occupy his favorite spots, Tangerine Chicken is actually Orange and some smug female Ph.Ds call him names.

The show is deep into second season and it hasn’t lowered the bar even an inch. I’m still afraid that one of Murphy laws would kick in but even so it already provided almost unbeliavable amount of laughs and such genuinely good things are so scarce these days.

Serena is plain annoying, not so bad herself as a character but the quest of bringing her on a level higher than Blair makes the sunny blonde almost intolerable.

Dan was so sweet and good he made my teeth hurt. Then the whole Georgina affair, the aspiring young b*tch Jenny setting a bad example worked as a makeover. Yet the good-boy-turned-bad overture to new subplot did nothing to improve Dan’s rating. And yet, and yet…

I do understand the ‘You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your handsome prince‘ approach but even so Serena doesn’t deserve that loathsome weakly-faced wimp of a man, the so called artist Aaron.

Do something with your facial hair (and hair hair or head hair or scalp hair or whatever hair), you, scarf clad lackluster douchebag! You are a stain on the reputation of artistic type of appeal! I want to strangle you with that scarf each time you’re consuming screen space.

Ok, I almost have gotten into multiple exclamation marks territory. Have to constrain myself. Breath in, breath out…